Assalam u alaikum wr wb readers!
I hope all of you are doing fine. I’ve been a lot busy lately so didn’t write much to express many a things that have been going around.
Although never before have I written much about my personal life , somehow I now feel like I should share just a little bit to highlight the importance of subject I really want to discuss.
Finishing my graduate year , I’ve been very much confused about what should be done after graduation that can actually put me in certain level of confidence in about the way that I should now lead my life.
I had this thought during Ramadan but as I can be a part of such a prestigious organization and can get closer to Allah just in a year . I should go for the diploma course of learning Quran.
Leaning in and actually making my mind I thought about several other things as well, it would be inappropriate to not to mention about them. I thought about doing a job as well and got very much close in getting it.
It’s amazing what happened afterwards. It was like I will get the job , for sure but suddenly after Ramadaan it changed for me . It was rather injustice but I was happy and justified about it, as my heart was in doing the course mentioned above.
So, anyway stumbling and striving I finally entered the building of alhuda to get admission and after the whole process , the fee went unpaid due to the bank issues . I gave the interview and test and got selected. Alhamdulilah , I’ll call this my first step.
Now, the roads started getting blocked and rumors were that you cannot get past the area to enter the city from anywhere even from within the city. Introductory class got missed.
Next day, however , I went . Without any hurdle again I reached Alhuda. I’ll call this my second step.
I was so at peace that when I started learning from the first verse and the way the Quran was recited in the Tajweed(learning how to recite) class made me want to cry. It is beautiful. I truly envied my teacher of tajweed class. Still makes me want to cry out and say Ya Allah help me recite the Quran in this manner. It is so beautiful that I cannot even express it. It is so calm and soothing that it makes me want to just learn it instantly.
I understood this hadith then (interpretation is), “there are only two people worthy of praise and envy. One who has money and he spends it in the way of Allah and you want to have the money so you may spend it that way . The other one is the one who recites the Quran in such a beautiful manner that you listen and instantly want to or be able recite the Quran in that way.[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].”
Subhan Allah. I felt blessed to even get to listen to her. May Allah increase her in her knowledge and make her among the best reciters.
Then I listened to the translation and explanation in a blissful manner. It was amazing for how I felt that day
Like maybe all along I’ve just been travelling to get to this institute like all along I’ve just been learning to gain this knowledge. Like just a peace of me was always here. For how can I get so mixed up and so sisterly in a place within a span of some days comparing to my years of education of universities and colleges, I’ve never ever felt this way before. Never felt this dedication which I now feel from the inside.
That made me realize everybody else is missing?
Why only me?
It has to be important for everybody but somehow they cannot see or visualize its benefits.
I couldn’t properly answer when my brother asked me , “why did you then get this 4 years degree? you couldn’t done this before?” I had no answer as I observed girls of all ages present in my class even the ones who just passed out of their high school. Such blessed souls they are.
I got the answers the very next day when we read about “هُدًى”.
Who attains the guidance of Allah subhana wa ta’aala?
Not everybody does, not everybody gets to choose right. Somehow even in a less wanting way, even in a broken way, I wanted to get on the first steps .
The thought that “I wanted to” , I realized was enough for Allah to choose me.
When I listened to this explanation I was dumb struck ! Like really , and I go like:
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي بِنِعْمَتِهِ تَتِمُّ الصَّالِحَاتُ
(All praise and thanks are only for Allah, the One who, by His blessing and favor, perfected goodness/good works are accomplished.)
Moving on with the days , the bank problem didn’t get solved and A teacher again helped me who has no idea of who I am and where do I come from? Maybe not even sure if I am speaking the truth but what she did was again very much new for me. I could’ve just got rejected and told to not join the course if I had so many problems (thinking about other intitutions , that surely would’ve been the case) Instead I was empathized and even more that is got help. The next day with grace of Allah I submitted the fee. Alhamdulilah. I call this my last step towards being a part of Quran student. Amazing right? Like “the path is made easy for whoever wants to walk”. Much easy than ever.