Assalam u alaikum wr wb,
I am writing this post because I was just wondering about regrets in life. What is this term “regret”? Where does it really get you? You feel guilty of a mistake and you start saying , I regret doing this or I wish I hadn’t done that. I believe it is not what we do which we should regret about. All of it is a part of a learning process. Indisputably, accepting that one is learning throughout this life might get us all moving in the right path. Whereas just simply regretting our behaviors and feeling ashamed of our mistakes will eventually get us stuck in one place. Nevertheless,being a human it is hard to STOP making mistakes and it is much harder to move on from the dire consequences of those mistakes. Thus, it is vital to strike a balance and accept the bad behaviors as often as we accept the good ones. Clearly, there is beauty in the silliness as well.
First of all, keeping track of one’s learning is the key. To illustrate let’s look at an example of a newly wed couple. Specifically both of the partners have needs and wants, it is easy to accept the needs of them but generally the “wants” cause some problems. Once they are married all things start to unlock, the vulnerabilities , the weaknesses and expectations start to develop. Because of the weak nature of a human, these weaknesses are always going to be there and they are likewise present in the other partner as well. So, arguments are likely to arise and they cannot be denied. Healthy relationships strive on healthy arguments which mutually goes into a middle way and working towards the same goal. Additionally, if both partners are understanding of this behavior it becomes easier to accept the other as a whole providing that there are still ups and downs which is quite basic. Let’s just say if this is not the case, then the battle starts to unravel in which each partner is loosing. Now if both of them are always learning new things about each other and are always putting efforts as needed, their significant other will not only be satisfied but also will try to return the favor. This will result in a more heavenly environment.
Secondly, excuses are not an option. Additionally, if a person is in the mindset of learning and seeking out to do things he/she wants to make a difference in, then they should make no excuses. Nobody should blame anybody else for the way they reacted. One should simply believe that they were themselves not in the right state of mind to either get out of the situation or they were also venting out on their past mistakes. Hence, no matter what you have be very careful and rather suggestive of positive things for yourself then trying to avoid the negatives by making excuses.
Thirdly and most importantly, God didn’t put us on this earth to complain and disregard ourselves. Admittedly, we are His best creation given that we carry on thinking and improving on the run and not think highly of ourselves at the same time.
Have a nice day.